Monday, May 01, 2006

Bad Diary Days

I finally arrived in Portland on Saturday night. I say finally as though it felt like it took forever, when in reality it seems like I left this place yesterday. The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind anyway that I haven't had a chance to breathe, let alone absorb the fact that I'm in entirely new circumstances and a new phase of life. I still don't comprehend it. Speaking of which, there's a lot that I don't currently comprehend. There is a lot that I probably never will... but my question is, how can I convince myself to stop searching for answers when sometimes there just aren't any. Or at least none that will satisfy my craving for understanding. In the 45 hours that I've been here, I've already been thrown for a few loops and I'm sure there are more to come. I guess in some ways I asked for it. I've been learning this about myself. I have a strange temptation to always pour salt in my own wounds.

Where can I begin? Well, really there's only one thing that made last night sleepless and there are countless things to be thankful for, so let's start with those. Oregon is beautiful as ever - green-green-green, blue skies and sun-sun-sunshine! I went to visit some co-workers at Nike this afternoon and I felt like I was at home. The smells, the stairs, the whole scene was just so familiar. I miss it. And this morning I went up to Tualatin Hills Nature Park for a nice run. I love to just get lost in a new set of trails. I got some photos developed and there is a great one of Kendrick and me in Moab. Oh, and I graduated a few days ago! It's all about the little things.

-Pedro the Lion-

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