Isn't She Lovely

If you know me at all, you'll realize immediately that I am only posting this out of humor.

Today has been so strange. When I drove into Portland this morning, the lot I usually park in was full, so I was forced to drive to another one several blocks away and a few dollars more expensive. I parked and began my walk towards work, weaving my way through the unfamiliar streets of that side of the Pearl. I came to an intersection and paused before I crossed the street only to have a man that was driving the same direction stop and roll down his passenger side window. He mumbled something out the window and I leaned down as he caught my attention, ready to do my best to give directions or needed information, to which he said, "You're gorgeous. You have a gorgeous figure." I glanced around in shock - was he talking to me? He was! Who was this man? Ok, so I'm gorgeous - but who is he to tell me? Honestly, who are these people? I couldn't stop laughing.

-Stevie Wonder-

Hope

Sometimes I wonder how many of us really know the meaning of the word intern. Especially those of us who volunteer to be interns - not just once, not twice, but three times.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, intern means detain, confine, deprive of freedom; take into confinement.

Welcome to my life.

-REM-

Hello Lonely

It's Friday and I have hit a wall. My busy-ness at work has waned and I just finished my last assignment with a few hours still left in the day. No one has the energy at this point in the week to think up a new project for me to work on. I guess I should be ok with that. I'll just blog away!

It's raining today. I went outside for lunch, off to my little park on 8th Avenue but I couldn't sit out there for long. It was just a little too soggy for me. I didn't have an umbrella - but isn't that what the whole Northwest experience is about -- becoming one with the rain?

A dog just walked into my cubicle.

Speaking of creatures, I almost stepped on a snake when I was running with Russ the other night. On the foresty streets of Portland, it's not unusual to have branches, sticks, and dirt spilling over onto the street. It was dusk and a little bit difficult to see anyway. But when what I assumed to be a stick startled and slithered as I ran by, I discovered it to be slightly more than a dead tree part.

It has been kind of a lonely week out here in Portland. I am in such a transient time of life right now. I don't quite have a home. And it is difficult to find motivation to make good friends when you know that you'll have to leave them in three weeks anyway. I've had to do that too many times before. I think I'm getting ready to settle down somewhere. At least for a year or two. Sometimes I just sit back and think, "What am I doing?" I'm in Oregon. I'm not making any money. And I have no idea where I'll be in three months. It's all good, though. Gain experience. Build the resume. Live in the moment. Drink it all in.

-Theory of a Deadman-

I Miss You Like I Miss You

I'm having one of those hard moments.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
-John Donne-

Why do I still miss him?

-Chad VanGaalen-

Nothing As It Seems

Yes - I'm blogging from work. So shoot me. It's not like they are paying me anything. But I can say that they are keeping me busy and I am continuing to enjoy my time here. Last night I had this huge realization that in a few months I'll be in a real job and there's no guarantee that I'll love it. Wouldn't that just be awful, to hate going to work every day? I've done it before, but there has always been light at the end of the tunnel. Now it seems that the only light ahead is an oncoming train. I really hope I don't hate my first job.

My roommate went out of town on Monday for the week. And I thought things were quiet before! Some of her friends actually came to the house from out of town and have been staying there to house hunt. But they have been busy and not spending too much time at the house, so I hardly see them. Needless to say, I am now convinced that I never want to live alone.

Maybe it's loneliness that has me looking forward to my plans for the evening. Or maybe it's more. Regardless, it's fun to think that I am almost giddy about something as simple as going running. Even if the only motive for my excitement is only the potential of good company.

-Pearl Jam-

On the Transmigration of Souls

Contrary to popular belief, the most fascinating thing about the Oregon Symphony tonight was not Mozart's Requiem. It was John Adams' stirring September 11th tribute, On the Transmigration of Souls. It was a haunting work, and if you really paid attention you could recall some of the things you felt as you watched the news on that tragic day.

-John Adams-

One Week

I've had an entire week of work at an ad agency and I can easily say that it's been my best work experience so far. I know - I'm shocked, too! For the first time in my life, I'm not getting paid to work eight hours a day and who knows, maybe that's what makes it so chill and rewarding at the same time. Because I don't have to be there. Not for credit. Not for money. Just to soak it all in and try to learn something. For all of the trash talk about agency work, it's exactly what I expected (and hoped) it would be.

Let's start with the building:

Euro RSCG 4D is in the Pearl District of Portland, taking up the 4th and 5th floors of the Pearl Building. It's an old brick structure that has that wonderfully artsy feel of an unfinished studio. The brick walls and wood floors and light, airy atmosphere are juxtaposed with the flashing neon lights, awards, sculptures, paintings, and advertisements that provide decoration and feed creative thought.

And the people:

I was pleasantly surprised to find on day one that I have many colleagues with a common alma mater. We could seriously stand and sing the fight song at a staff meeting and do it justice. Although I'm not sure the many grads of the U would let us get away with it. The people are friendly, funny, down-to-earth, and very hard workers.

And the work:

Can I just say it's really rewarding to actually use something that I learned in school. Suddenly the thousands of dollars that I poured into college tuition have become meaningful outside of the academic realm! But that's the beautiful thing about it... I'm not just using what I know, but I'm learning a lot, too. I am given assignments that are doable, but still help me grow. Currently I'm working on three accounts: Adobe, Barclays Global Investors, and the Allstate Foundation.

Aside from work, Portland has been a great place to live. As I was driving home from work on Thursday, I saw a pink Cadillac. And then when I went to Kinkos, the guy behind the counter was wearing more makeup that I ever have in my life. I wonder what it feels like to put mascara on as a man. Is it bad that I find that sort of thing slightly entertaining?

Among other observations:
When I was coming home on the Max a few days ago, a couple got on the train and I couldn't help but watch them. They were in their late thirties and there was something about them that told me that they had been together for a long time; they were obviously married. But at the same time there was this aura surrounding them... like they had just met and fallen in love over the past few days. They seemed so free, so unrestrained, and so caught up in each other but with a common enthrallment for everything around them and the possibilities ahead. Everything about them screamed of their mutual fascination. It's amazing what you can perceive just by watching people for a few scattered moments.

-Barenaked Ladies-

Over and Over

I have begun to wonder if my life is starting to repeat itself in four-year cycles. Honestly. Five days ago I could have sworn I was riding the Tube in London when I was really just taking the Max home from the airport. And today when I went to a park for lunch, it felt exactly like Paris on the day I went to the Monet museum alone in my introspective reverie-of-just-absorbing-Paris-by-myself moment. But seriously, everything was the same (minus the crepe I treated myself to in Paris) -- the air, the floating conversations, the park benches, the cool winds pushing through the trees. Maybe Portland just has a European feel this time of year.

I sat down and watched a pro bocce player practice today while I inhaled my peanut butter and jam sandwich. I don't think I've ever seen someone play bocce before and maybe its European flavor is what helped me feel so much like I was in another place and time. I was surprised when a man that the bocce player was talking to spotted me from across the courtyard and said, "I know you." He did, as it turns out. He's a member of my bishopric in my new ward. So we sat together on the wooden planks that line the bocce pits and ate our peanut butter and jam sandwiches together. It's always nice to see a familiar face.

So, as I've been thinking about this four-year cycle of my life it's not too disappinting when I reflect on the European adventures of 2002. But then I think ahead and I wonder if it will really be three and a half years before I fall in love again.

-Erin Bode-

Virginia Moon

I'm back in Virginia. I got here two days ago and I can see that my time here is going to be way too short. I've mostly been running errands so far -- tying up loose little ends and getting things done before I venture away from this place forever.

About twenty minutes after I landed on Tuesday, Mimsi and I headed to Jammin' Java for a great little show. As the candlelight flickered from our front row table, I sat and absorbed the genius of Landon Pigg, Ki Theory and Lucas Reynolds. I came to see Lucas (of Blue Merle) but came away with huge apreciation for Landon's sound. I especially connected with some of his lyrics; perhaps some of his titles will be enough to say why: "Sailed On," and "Can't Let Go" among my favorites.

Last night was a graduation/birthday celebration at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Wow - that honestly has got to be the best steak I've ever had. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is willing to spend $200 on dinner for three people.

I just got my haircut. I really needed a haircut and it is always such trauma to actually get to the salon and get it done. I don't know why I feel such an attachment to my locks... perhaps it is only a reflection of the over-attachment I feel for a lot of things.

Today is shopping day. My wardrobe needs a little spicing up for New York. Leesburg Outlets, here I come!

-Foo Fighters-

Bad Diary Days

I finally arrived in Portland on Saturday night. I say finally as though it felt like it took forever, when in reality it seems like I left this place yesterday. The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind anyway that I haven't had a chance to breathe, let alone absorb the fact that I'm in entirely new circumstances and a new phase of life. I still don't comprehend it. Speaking of which, there's a lot that I don't currently comprehend. There is a lot that I probably never will... but my question is, how can I convince myself to stop searching for answers when sometimes there just aren't any. Or at least none that will satisfy my craving for understanding. In the 45 hours that I've been here, I've already been thrown for a few loops and I'm sure there are more to come. I guess in some ways I asked for it. I've been learning this about myself. I have a strange temptation to always pour salt in my own wounds.

Where can I begin? Well, really there's only one thing that made last night sleepless and there are countless things to be thankful for, so let's start with those. Oregon is beautiful as ever - green-green-green, blue skies and sun-sun-sunshine! I went to visit some co-workers at Nike this afternoon and I felt like I was at home. The smells, the stairs, the whole scene was just so familiar. I miss it. And this morning I went up to Tualatin Hills Nature Park for a nice run. I love to just get lost in a new set of trails. I got some photos developed and there is a great one of Kendrick and me in Moab. Oh, and I graduated a few days ago! It's all about the little things.

-Pedro the Lion-

The Special Two

Today I ran into Greg on campus about thirty seconds after he sent me an email. How random is that? It is always so reassuring to run into an old friend that you can feel that at home with. It's like having your nest fluffed with down. Greg and I could talk for hours, but I had work and he had a final to take. We did get to talk music for a little while, and he introduced me to the lovely Australian Missy Higgins. This girl, inspired by artists like Aimee Mann, is incredible. I would recommend her album, The Sound of White, to anyone who can appreciate the semi-sultry vocals of an girl from down under with some jazzy undertones. So have a listen, mate!

-Missy Higgins-

Beautiful Mistake

Today was my last Sunday as a BYU student. This also means it was my last church meeting in a chemistry building. And my last ward prayer. It's really hard to believe that this is it! I look back on the beginning of the year and where I thought I'd be at this point and I can see how unpredictable life can be. It certaintly doesn't always go as planned. And although this is the ending of a wonderful and fun period of life, I know there are many adventures ahead!

It was a beautiful day. This afternoon Mark and I went up the canyon for a little stroll around Canyon Glen Park. As we talked and shot some photos, I couldn't help but think that he somehow resembled a fifth member of Il Divo. Things always seem to work out how they should, but sometimes in an odd way. I'm just happy that I learned some things and that we can still be friends.

But really, what it comes down to is that I'm just waiting to meet Mr. Darcy in New York, in his quiet, handsome solemnity. And just like Elizabeth, I will "bewitch him body and soul."

-Better Than Ezra-

Souvenirs

I'm suddenly intrigued by the apathy that besets me. I guess I shouldn't even describe it as besetting me, since I welcome its urges without constraint. It's just funny how being a graduating senior in the last finals week of my life has brought such impassivity. While I could study for one of my two finals, I instead find diversion in packing up my life once again, playing the guitar and discovering new musical artists. I even started writing a new song while in the middle of recording my current piece de resistance: Missing Piece. It's true. I wrote a song based on Shel Silverstein's life-changing (for me) composition, "The Missing Piece Meets the Big O." The latter work is very much in progress and is yet untitled.

My musical discovery of the day is a young Washingtonian, Korby Lenker. I am especially a fan of his song "Papercuts." It reminds me osomeonene I used to know. I adore finding new music that reminds me of something, even if I know I've never experienced it. It's like everything I see reminds me of something I've heard in a song. Sometimes ultrasensitive emotions can only be expressed in a combination of lyrics and beats and tones. Music truly is the language of the soul.

I suppose I should mention that it's official. I will be spending my summer in two fascinating and contrasting cities: Portland, OR and New York, NY. Just to emphasize the differences a little more, let's look at some stats:

Population
Portland: 556,000
New York: 18,976,457

Rent per Month
Portland: $300
New York: $800

Size
Portland: 130 square miles
New York: 321 square miles

Singles Wards
Portland: 3
New York: 4

Nickname
Portland: City of Roses
New York: The Big Apple

Year Discovered
Portland: 1843
New York: 1609

Shows I Plan to Attend
Portland: Sasquatch Music Festival
New York: Jose Gonzalez

Yeah, so this summer will definitely be an adventure! I am excited to learn a little more about life, myself and the advertising industry. Now, if I can only get through finals.

-Architecture In Helsinki-

Amado Mio

Wow. What a night! Months ago, I was thrilled to find out that Pink Martini was coming to Park City and Jenny and I got some tickets. It was an incredible evening to say the least. If you haven't heard of the 12-piece Portland band, I would highly recommend them to anyone with the slightest taste for good music. I love how Thomas (the pianist) describes their music. "We’re kind of like musical archaeologists, bringing melodies and rhythms from different parts of the world together to create something which is modern. It’s like an urban musical travelogue…and I think as citizens of the world and in a sense as musical ambassadors for the United States, we must always strive to study the languages, customs, and histories of other countries. We’re very much an American band, but we spend a lot of time abroad, in Europe, in Turkey, in Lebanon and therefore have the opportunity to demonstrate that Americans are indeed serious about engaging in a dialogue with the rest of the world.” All I can say is that I'm counting down to the release of album number three.

-Pink Martini-

The Longest Winter

So I woke up this morning, showered, got dressed, and pulled out the filp-flops. Then I looked out the window. Behold, Utah's version of April - a veritable blizzard has descended on Provo. I quickly had to swap my t-shirt for sweater, pea coat, scarf and close-toed shoes. Needless to say, I'm ready for spring.

-Pedro the Lion-

More Adventurous

Wow - the last week has been pure insanity. My adventures of January and February were more obviously "adventures." But this is the one I've gotten the most out of; I have been a part of the creation of something I'm very proud of. I have been working night and day on the Ford account for my senior capstone project in advertising. Most of the team has put a lot of work into it and been very diligent. If only all of the group could have had that same drive. Oh well, it got done - even if it did take several consecutive sleepless nights. Now we have a beautiful book and a killer strategy and switchpoint will present to Ogilvy, J. Walter Thompson, and Ford's own Mitch Lord at 3:10 pm on April 12th. Stay tuned.

-Rilo Kiley-

Silent Sigh

So many things to wonder about...

When did it suddenly get so difficult to reply to a simple email? Honestly.

Over the last few days I've completely let go of that stressless new years resolution that was supposed to lead to a little more peace of mind on my part. It's become impossible to stay chill as my countdown widget informs me that there are only 37 days until graduation and I still don't have a job. And I still don't know where I'll be living. And I still don't know how I'll be supporting myself. And I still don't know how I'll finish my senior capstone project.

And miles to go before I sleep.


-Badly Drawn Boy-

Wrapped Up In My Books

One of the things I love about not being in school is having the time to read! I know, isn't it just slightly ironic? And I may be a little ahead of myself since graduation is still 39 days away... But here it is folks, my summer reading list:

• Forster - A Room With a View
  
• Steinbeck - East of Eden
• Austen - Pride & Prejudice
• Kobliner - Get A Financial Life (I had to include at least one practical read)
  
• Albom - The Five People You Meet In Heaven
• Chevalier - Girl With a Pearl Earring
• Eggers - A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
  
• Golden - Memoirs of a Geisha
• Keroac - On The Road
  
• Cisneros - The House on Mango Street
• Chang - Wild Swans

Let me know if you have any other suggestions!

- Belle & Sebastian-

Easy Way Out

I think I'm done with the opposite sex for a little while. Especially the ones from Utah. They have not failed to dissapoint.

-Elliott Smith-

Marching Bands of Manhattan

Well folks, it looks like I'll be heading to the Big Apple this summer! My original plan from years ago is finally coming to fruition despite all of the doubts and other plans that came up in between. I'll admit, I never thought I'd get to this point - where I'd be making decisions about a career and where to start my life on my own... and quite honestly, it hurts to see the other opportunities that this throws under the bus. But you can't wait for life to start - you've just gotta keep on living.

-Death Cab for Cutie-